The full moon in the bright and sparkly sign of Leo on Feb 16th is inviting us into being seen. It's asking us to step up and out into our truth. It is welcoming us to shine our light in the world with confidence and courage.
For some it means getting up on stage and preforming in a flamboyant dress, for others it means showing up with deep presence in daily life, or to fully engaging with your craft. There are as many different versions of this light shining as there are beings on the plant.
As I contemplate this invitation I'm met with a collection of fears. There is a fear of being seen, a fear of hiding and wasting an opportunity. I'm afraid I'll do it wrong. I'm worried I'll make a mistake and be cancelled. I'm afriad that I'll be successful and not be able to handle it.
I know that I am not alone in these fears. It's part of the human experience to be fearful. And sometimes, this feeling of fear can be paralyzing. Sometimed, Instead of taking action I choose to stay stuck.
And that's just it - it's a choice!
In my practice of Nichiren Buddhism, we are encouraged to have faith that all of our dreams are possible and that every obstacle is an opportunity for growth. The bigger the challenge the more potential it holds for me.
Yet, we're also taught that even if we have limitlessly faith; if we don't take action towards our hopes and dreams they will never become a reality.
From this perspective I can see how, as the famous lines goes, "on the other side of fear exists everything you have ever dreamed of".
In the light of this bright Leo moon, I can see that my fears are the obstacle I need to over come to embrace my light. But how can I do this without re-traumatising and abandoning the fearful parts of myself?
I've tried suppressing, ignoring and pretending my fear isn't real for me. That hasn't worked, and its a sure way to make sure it will come back to bite me in the ass!
I need to acknowledge that *yes; it's scary* and also *I can overcome it*.
I can feel fear and be brave.
I hold this paradox within me carefully. It is delicate. I am learning to be gentle with my fearful parts - I sit and listen to them, parent them, and I let them know that all will be well.
At the same time I nurture my courageous parts - a pray and chant, I recall my strengths and remember times I have overcome fears in the past.
From there I can take one small step forward.
I feel the ground beneath me - the mud squelches. Is it steady? Can I place my foot down with confidence? No, but I feel it out with my Intuition and senses as best I can and then I commit to it.
I check to see if I am still breathing. Am I still alive? My belly rises and falls.... And I work on finding my footing once again.
Then I commit to the next step... And on and on until I look back and realise I've hiked quite a way into the landscape of my life and light.
And that's how I am learning to overcome my fears. I try my best to take the next right step in each moment, with many pauses, sensing and deep concious breaths, and along the way.
Sometimes I do fall, but it's never as bad as I imagine. The mud is soft and so I get up and continue on my way - one step at a time.
As I write this I wonder; how do you compassionately engage with your fearful parts?
I have created a ceremony that can be done atanytime to support you to embrace and embody more of your light and purpose inthe word. It's a space to welcome your fears and your courage.
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With love and blessings to you beneath the light of the moon,